Catalysis of Thoughts

Droplets plummet upon me as I gape upon the sky.
I remember when things were undemanding.
Storms dance between the clouds that loiter above me.
The sphere seems so far away now.
Everyone demands something different.
Yet I do not budge from my spot.
Holding onto something that seems so far away.
Heart flutters within my chest.
Rainbows scatter across the sky.
Rain not clearing any time soon.
Left.. Or to the right?
Smells of Newport cigarettes fill my senses.
All the things I have said.
Seem to have washed away with this storm.
All the worries and fears.
Taken by a single rainbow.
Watching at this one smokes a Newport.
Chuckles and giggles fill my ears.
Slowly the rain calms although the thunder remains.
Right.. or to the left?
Decisions evade my every being.
Soft laughter escapes my lips.
Soft and unmoved exterior
Eyes settle upon me.
What happened to the decisions I used to have?
Where did this come from?

Je T'aime Tu…

Everything seems so far away….
Anything seems too distant.
Yet here one is.
The smell of Newport seems to fog the air around me.
A chuckle escapes ones lips.
A slight glance yet a moment of bliss.
What happened?
Yet, I don't regret anything.
Constant contact within a being of confusion.
Working hard at figuring out this path to take.
Yet, something holds me back.
What holds me back?
I know something but I don't dare speak it.
Something I miss.
The words will never escape my lips again.
Sealed with a kiss deep within my heart.
The one thing that keeps me at bay from anything or anyone.
The one thing that I miss.
I wish was here.

Slowly I'm spinning around in hills and a dress.
Crazy mask seemed to cloud my vision.
Trying to regain what is mine.
Although one is forever on my mind.
Even If this one should not because all I can do is bewail.
Loud music, laughter, and smiles.
Compliments and cheers follow behind.
Laughing seems so easy at this moment.
Where did I go?
This shell doing my biding.
Giving everyone a lie.
Lost, hiding and keeping safe within myself.
Why do I always wish for you?
The years have passed..
And yet, daily one is on my mind along with you.
How can I not?
Slowly getting over what happened.
Although it has been years…

I still sit and stare at the phoenix made to react to my emotions.
Although it still reacts.
I can't bear to stare at it to long.
Left.. or to the right?
Memories fill my vision as one continuously contacts.
Mufflied from my own thoughts and memories.
How do I continue?
Let me help you.
Memories fit to perfectly in with this.
One seems to mix with you.
I sit confused and happy.
Slowly filling my shell with myself.
Please do not prove me wrong.

Je T'aime Tu...